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"Mommy! Mommy! When I grow up I want to be a drummer!"
Two guys were walking down the street ...one was destitute ... the other was a drummer as well ..
How is an orgasm like a drum solo? Why are so many musician jokes one liners ? What do call a successful drummer? How do you get a drummer off your front porch? Pay for the pizza
Ya hear about the band that locked his keys in the van? Took 45 minutes to get the drummer out.
What do you say to a drummer in a suit? Will the defendant please rise.
Johnny starting playing drums as a child, and his encouraging mother always kept his spirits high and made him proud to be a drummer. One day he came home and said, "Mommy, Mommy! Today in school we did numbers, and most kids only got to ten, but I went to twenty!" "That's Great Johnny!" his mother replied, "That's because you're a drummer!" Excited, Johnny ran upstairs and practiced the drums.
The next day, Johnny came home saying,"Mommy! Mommy! Today we did the alphabet, and everyone else stopped at P, but I made it all the way to Z!" The next day, Johnny came home excited once again. "Mommy! Mommy! Today They measured us and I'm the tallest in my class! Is that because I'm a drummer?"
What's the difference between a drummer and a pizza?
What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless.
A drummer who suspects his girlfriend of cheating on him goes out and buys a gun. He goes to his apartment unexpectedly, opens the door, and, sure enough, finds her naked in the arms of a redhead. Well, now He’s angry. He opens his coat and takes out the gun. But as he does so, he is overcome with grief and points the gun at his own head. The girlfriend yells, "No, honey, don’t do it." "Shut up," the drummer says. "You’re next."
A guy goes into a doctor's office complaining of pain. The doctor asks, "where does it hurt?" The guy touches his arm and says ouch. Then he touches his knee and says owwwwwch. Then he touches his stomach and says owwww. "It hurts everywhere" he tells the doctor. The doctor says... "you're a drummer aren't you?" The guy replies, "how did you know that?" The doctor tells him, "you don't hurt everywhere... you're finger is broken."
These two drummers walk into a brothel, and the madam doesn't feel like wasting time on these two guys, so she sends them to their room with blow up dolls. Well, the two guys do their business and then get in the car and head home. One the way back, one drummer turns to the other and says, "You know, I think my girl was dead. She didn't moan, groan, or even move. I don't even think she was breathing." "Really?" said the other drummer. "You know, now that I think about it, I think my lady was a witch?" "A witch?"" asked the first drummer. "Why do you think that?" "Well, when I started nibbling on her ear, she flew out the window."
This drummer is sitting at home while his wife is at work. His wife calls him at home, and seems very excited. "You won't believe this," she says, "but I just won the lottery. $5 million. I'm on my way home, pack your bags." "That's incredible. I can't believe it," said the drummer. "What should I pack?" His wife answered, "It doesn't matter, just as long as you are out of the house in five minutes."
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